THE FACEBOOK TRIP (5)

Theives? Armed robbers?

We are all lined outside now, our hands on our heads, our phones and accessories taken from us and placed in a bag near the driver’s door. It’s night and we can’t see clearly. It is with the help of the full moon up there in the dark sky that we can see each other, and the seven hefty persons that are standing before us, pistols pointed at us.
Will this night ever end?
Emefile is wincing in pain from the injury in his arm. Arere Doris Elohor is crying. Infact all the ladies are crying, except Oliseyenum Amaka Jennifer who is silently cursing our attackers.

“Itz Elvigo!” One of the men calls.

“Sir!!!!” The smallest among them answers.

“What’s my name?”

“Lejoka Sir!!!”

“What do I do to people?!”

“Steal their goods and kill them Sir?!!”

“Good boy!” The supposed leader, It’z Da Major Lejoka chuckles.

“Christian Ifeanyi!!”

“Sir!”

“It’s your gun loaded?!”

“Aye sir!”

“What is aye sir?! Should I shoot you?!”

“Nay Sir!”

“Goddammit!” Lejoka releases a shot into the air and we all scream.

“Jude Anani!!!”

“Sir!!”

“It’s the cocaine box with you?!”

“Definitely Sir!!”

“Good! Make them snuff it before we kill them?!”

“Yes Sir!!”

“Benson Eguonoo!!!”

“Yes baby!!!”

It’s a girl’s voice. It’s hoarse and deep, but it’s a girl’s voice.

“Are you with the scorpions?!”

“Of course!!”

“Good!” Lejoka then turns to us. “You guys better prepare to go to hell.”

We cry more, fear swimming through our veins.

“Please don’t shoot us. Please… Let’s negotiate.” Zuby Baron begs. Emefile falls to the ground, unable to stand his pain anymore.

Then suddenly, something sweeps one of his men off his feet and begins to swallow him. It’s a huge snake.

Before us, about 8 feet into the air, staring down at us, is the biggest, most monstrous snake we’ve ever seen: an Anaconda!

Armed robbers scream. We scream!!!

Now I know that we are going to die. No argument.

In the distance, the voice of an old woman is singing.

P. S: This series was first written in 2017 and posted on Fortune Aganbi’s facebook wall. For reasons personal to the writer, she has decided to not alter, edit or change anything about the original stories.

THE FACEBOOK TRIP (4)

“Jesus!” Chima yelps. “Where did he go just now?”

Zuby takes the torchlight from Amaka amd shines it very well on Emefile’s seat. He is not there. He directs the beam across the entire bus. Still, no Emefile.

“I think Emefile is a wizard.” David says quietly. “It’s 12:00clock already.

“Don’t be superstitious.” Amaka says forcing out a laugh. But behind that laugh we sense a certain fear: the same fear we are all having now. So Emefile is a wizard and he has been sitting with us?

“Maybe it was he who turned into the creature.” Doris is very quiet now. No more whimpers.

“But when the thing was here, he was snoring na. It can’t be him.” Peter says, sneezing.

“And now the thing has left, he is not here. All the doors are closed.”

“Maybe he is a very powerful one.” I say.

“Hey guys, we need to start thinking of how to get out of this goddamn place.” Zuby speaks with a little frustration in his tone.

“But how ehn. How?!” It’s Beola.

“We gotta use our brains man!”

There is whispering in the bus now, like the voices of ghosts in a dark night.

“I think we should all pray for morning to arrive quicker. Then all of this will be over and we can look for a passing car and we will get fuel and go to the conference.”

It surprises everybody how we all have forgotten about the conference. Team Emmanuel saw us stranded, couldn’t they help to send word for aid, to us? And how can anyone at the conference not have noticed that this particular team is missing?

“My love?” Jewel’s voice carries worry. Zuby replies with a hmm?

“Something hairy is on my leg. It’s itching me.” She says, her voice ridden with fear. Zuby flashes the torch towards her feet and almost jumps in shock.

It’s Emefile!

Emefile? What is he doing at the bottom of the bus, folded like a tortoise, his head on Jewel’s legs?

Zuby hits his head with the torch he is holding and the young man screams.
“What are you doing down there?! We taught you had disappeared!!” Zuby cries out, hitting him again.

“You mean all these while, he was sleeping?” I asked, not wanting to believe it.

Emefile grumbles and rises from his position. “Why can’t you guys let somebody have a peaceful sleep?”

“Ekpa!” Ifeoma hisses.

Ken is about to say something when… we hear the sound of voices talking behind the bus. We all keep quiet, questions on our minds : who’s out there? So we are not alone here? People stay around here?

Then there is a knock on one of the doors and the driver’s door is yanked open. The powerful beam from a huge torch flashes in, blinding us momentarily.

“Everybody freeze!!!” A very deep scary voice orders.

We are already frozen, so nobody makes a move. Then we hear several other deep voices.

“Everybody come down!! Now!!! Orelse we we will blow your heads off!!!”
Nobody makes a move. Then a shot is heard and we hear Emefile screaming that his hand has been hit.
Damn.
We don’t have to be told twice. We all scurry out of the car, pushing each other out of the way and falling on top each other in the process.

P. S: This series was first written in 2017 and posted on Fortune Aganbi’s facebook wall. For reasons personal to the writer, she has decided to not alter, edit or change anything about the original stories.

THE FACEBOOK TRIP (3)

Something is telling me that we are all going to die here. I mean something we don’t know is out there, and is attacking us. The bus is shaking from one side, the side from which the thing had hit and is now threatening to turn over. And here we are, no help, expecting to die, screaming.

“Father Lord king of glory. You say when we.. ” David Victor begins to pray aloud. “I command whatever is out there to.. ”

“Abeg shut up!” Amaka shouts, both angry and scared.

“Every body start laughing.” Epue Peter Oghenerume suggests in the heat of the moment.

“What?!!!!!!”

“Start laughing! Like this hahahahahahaheheheehe. Now!”

“Hahahahahahaheheheehe!!!”

Everybody begins to laugh. Some of us are laughing and crying at the same time. And as though a miracle, the bus stops shaking and we hear a swoosh outside as if something speedily moved away from the bus. We continue laughing. Then some seconds later, we hear the shriek again. But this time it’s very distant. Somewhere from deep inside the forest. Peter tells us to stop and we all do, except Arere Doris Elohor who is crying seriously and laughing seriously at the same time, “Hahahahhkakakaooohehehekekeekeeeeooo”
“E Don do o madam.” Beola Blade says. Her laughter turns into a whimper and we let out a collective sigh.

“What the fuck Mhen. Who the hell gave you that freaking idea man? What kinda animal runs at the sound of laughter?” Zuby Baron directs at Peter. We are straining to see each other’s faces now. The bus has become hot.

“I watched in a movie once, something similar to this. Every body in the car began to laugh and the ghost went away.”

“Thank you ooo.” Ifeoma Ojeifo’s voice has lost its vibrancy now.

“Don’t you guys think we should get out of this bus?” I ask, my body trembling.

“And go into the forest?” Ken and David asks simultaneously.

“I use God beg una. Make we stay here. If anything comes again, we will laugh.” It’s Jewel Chima.

“Why is Emefile Francis Waje not talking?” Oliseyenum Amaka Jennifer asks, pointing a torch at Emefile’s seat.

Emefile is not there.

We all gasp.

Where is Emefile?

TO BE CONTINUED

P. S: This series was first written in 2017 and posted on Fortune Aganbi’s facebook wall. For reasons personal to the writer, she has decided to not alter, edit or change anything about the original stories.

THE FACEBOOK TRIP (2)

It is 6:30pm now and our driver is still missing. Jewel Chima is getting increasingly worried. “Maybe we should go and look for him.”

“For where?” I ask.

“Maybe he go shit?” Oliseyenum Amaka says, shaking her head.

“Pesin dey shit for over one hour?” Ifeoma Ojeifo is really bitter and it’s evident in her voice.

“Or maybe a Lion has eaten him up or a constrictor has swallowed him.” Emefile Francis Waje says, laughing.

“Abeg make una come make we act film. This place dey nice to shoot movie clip.” Peter says, bringing out his phone.

“And you know what’s worse?” Ken asks. We are out with the others now. “There is no single network here.”

“Ei God!!!” Everybody exclaims.

“So that’s how our driver vanished into thin air?” It’s Mhiz Fidel Nkemchoro Pfc. She is still scribbling.

“Maybe he is an evil spirit. And he has brought us here for sacrifice.” David Victor suggests and everybody keeps quiet.

Amaka looks at him with ‘bad eye’. Then Arere Doris Elohor speaks up, her voice shaking, “Biko… Let us go and look for him. Maybe he went to pee and he got lost.” She pleads.

After a while, everybody decides to go and look for him. We all huddled to the edge of one part of the road that begins into the thick forest. But there is a problem. Nobody wants to go in first.

“Oya make the men go first na. We go follow una.” Doris suggests.

“No,” I disagree.”Some men should be at the front and the others at the back. We will stay in the middle.”
All the ladies agree.

Then Beola Blade bursts out laughing. “I think sey una be feminists? Haha so who will protect us the men? Kpekeres!”
The men agree with laughter and nods.
Then everybody keeps quiet, waiting.

When after a few minutes, nobody makes a move, everybody returns to the bus, some hissing, some of the ladies, insulting the men. Zuby Baron suggests we should try to stop a car that will take one or two of us to town to get fuel. Then whoever knows how to drive will drive us and we will forget the driver ever existed. But well, it’s a little past seven now, and no cars are passing by. There is no network to contact anyone from outside here and the sounds of nocturnal animals are beginning to come from the forest.
How do we survive the night?

***
It’s night now and we are all bundled up together inside the bus, the doors locked. It feels eery and extremely cold, and almost everybody is looking for somewhere warm to sneak into. Emefile pulls out a thick coat from his bag and wraps it around him. I snuggle closer to Ken, our bodies producing heat for each other. Zuby and Jewel are kissing . Doris is lamenting and regretting why she did not follow her boyfriend’s bus earlier. Ifeoma is cursing loudly and wishing for her Alhaji husband.
Then suddenly…
We hear a very loud unearthly shriek from outside and everybody stiffens.

TO BE CONTINUED

P. S: This series was first written in 2017 and posted on Fortune Aganbi’s facebook wall. For reasons personal to the writer, she has decided to not alter, edit or change anything about the original stories.

THE FACEBOOK TRIP (1 of 8)

So we are on a bus going to a a conference in Aprokotown which is located in a huge city known as Facebookville.

Sitted closely beside me here, is Ken. We are discussing politics and poetry. Then suddenly, the bus stops.
“Shuo! Wetin happen?” Mhiz Fidel Nkemchoro Pfc who is sitting in front of me and scribbling on a Jotter, exclaims as several others begin to murmur.

The driver, Misturr Weez’Dorm dabs his face with a dirty towel and explains to us that the bus has run out of fuel.

“What nonsense Mhen.. !” Zuby Baron who had been tickling Jewel Chima affectionately, exclaims, slapping the seat in front of him. “I mean this is why I see Nigeria as a burrowed pit full of dumbass monkeys. How can a driver not fuel his car before embarking on a long journey? Who the hell does that? Now we are gonna be late for the conference. Just fine!”

“Honey please calm down okay?” Jewel pats him, eyeing the driver.

“Abeg no insult me oo. U even know wetin happen?” Misturr retorts.

“You can imagine!” Zuby turns to face the rest of us in the bus. “We are stranded in the middle of nowhere and he is fucking cool with it!”

“Peace people.” The pastor in the bus, David Victor says raising his hands. “God is in absolute control.”

“Which God?!” Oliseyenum Amaka Jennifer who before now was pressing her phone, questions sharply. “We can count the number of cars passing by. Very few. We are surrounded by a large mass of green, a forest, in the middle of this small road. Of course, there are no fuel stations around here. Not for miles. It is 5:30pm and you are talking about God! Maybe he will use rapture to lift us out of here.”

Beola Blade closes the porn magazine he is holding and says calmly. “Complaining and quarrelling no go help us. Let’s think.”

“Maybe your urine can serve as fuel.” Emefile Francis Waje giggles, least worried about the situation.

“And where is that stupid driver?!” Arere Doris Elohor yells from the passenger seat.”My boyfriend don reach there since o.”

Suddenly, the driver is not in the bus and the driver’s door is open.

“See ehn… Make una beta go find am come o.” Ifeoma Ojeifo says, seething.

“Something told me when I was entering this bus that something would go wrong. Na so una things dey be?! Tueh!”

Then a bus breezes past us. It’s the bus containing #TeamEmmanuelandNaustin. We can hear them laughing at us and shouting ‘bye bye!’

Everybody begins to come down, some raining curses on the driver, others simply murmuring. I and Ken remain seated where we are, our hands locked tightly together. Then another bus passes carrying another Facebook team and Ifeoma curses again.

God knows I regret deciding to join this team in the first place. We are getting late for the conference. It’s getting terribly dark and quiet. No food, no water, no help, no driver. What the hell are we going to do?

TO BE CONTINUED

P. S: This series was first written in 2017 and posted on Fortune Aganbi’s facebook wall. For reasons personal to the writer, she has decided to not alter, edit or change anything about the original stories.